Lineage Addition
by Kiva
Summary: In the process of comforting B'Elanna, and discussing her insecurities about the baby, Tom confesses his fears about impending fatherhood. Set after Lineage, contains spoilers. First Voyager story. Feedback would be appreciated. :)


Disclaimer; The characters depicted in this story are not mine, nor do I lay any claim to them. They belong to Paramount, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
Notes; Set after the scene between B'Elanna and the Doctor in sick bay.  
  
This is my first Voyager fic, though I've been watching since 1998. I didn't even know what fanfiction was until last year though. Also, I have no spellchecker, it's not really Beta read [ my friend Bella did read it over quickly, so thank you very much Bella :) ], and it's written in UK English......so, some spellings may be a tad strange. I've written that sometime after the confrontaion between Tom and B'Elanna in sickbay, Neelix is off on an away mission. It has no real bearing on the story, but I just wrote it anyway.  
  
I hope you enjoy, and that you'll let me know whether you like/dislike the story. Any comments can be directed to me at kiva31@yahoo.com  
  
**********************  
  
  
  
Tom sighed, shifting slightly under the covers. He just couldn't get settled.  
  
He shifted again, finally finding a semi comfortable position. He was tired, and knew he needed sleep.  
  
But still, he couldn't drift back off. He supposed a few hours sleep was preferable to none, but he was still tired. He attributed his evening meal to at least a portion of his restlessness.  
  
For some unknown reason, Chell had been in the mess hall serving dinner this evening. He knew that Neelix was on an away mission right now, but Chell?  
  
Tom would have avoided it had he been able, but he'd only had a short time to eat, and then get back to Sickbay to finish his shift.  
  
Tom also knew if he had decided to use what Replicator rations he had, then he would have been there for a while, trying to figure out what he wanted. Plus, he wanted to Replicate a suprise for B'Elanna. Not that he would let her know........not yet anyway.  
  
So, he'd foolishly ingested Chell's latest concoction. And he was paying for it.  
  
A little while later, his stomach had finally ceased doing cartwheels, and settled down. But *still* he couldn't get back to sleep. He turned his head, looking at the slumbering form of his wife. She looked absolutely beautiful. It was strange. He'd never put much stock in that old Earth saying. The one about pregnant women, having a certain 'glow' about them. But even he couldn't ignore the subtle way that B'Elanna seemed to be lit up with some sort of inner light. Her thick, shiny hair even seemed......well, even thicker and shinier.  
  
~Mushy stuff again,~ he mused to himself. ~And B'Elanna's not even awake to hear it. Just as well. She'd probably break my arm.~  
  
Strangely enough, that particular thought brought a smile to his face.  
  
But that wasn't why he couldn't sleep. He couldn't sleep, because his mind wouldn't stop racing. He'd woken from a perculiar dream, one that he couldn't recall the details of, but one that had disturbed him.  
  
Letting out a breath, Tom slowly sat up. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, careful not to wake his wife as he moved. He stood, putting on his robe and moving quietly to the couch. He debated getting a drink to relax him, but decided not to. Like he'd thought earlier, he wanted to save all his Replicator rations for his suprise, plus anything they may need for the baby. He sat down, trying to relax enough to feel sleepy. He groaned quietly, remembering that he had to go on duty in an hour.  
  
But, no matter what he tried, it wasn't working.  
  
He then decided to get dressed. Maybe he could go and check on something......anything.  
  
Or, read a medical text, like the Doc was always bugging him to. But, he just couldn't concentrate. His mind was moving at warp speed. Thoughts of B'Elanna, of the news that he was going to be a father. About John Torres, and the way he had abandoned his wife and her mother when she was a child.  
  
Oh, he knew in the part of him not ruled by emotion, that it wasn't as cut and dried as that. But no matter how he thought about it, there was no scenario he could envision, that would cause him to leave his own wife and child. He wanted to tell B'Elanna to forgive her father, that the facts weren't one way or the other......but a part of him knew, that he wanted nothing more than to punch John Torres out for the pain caused to B'Elanna.  
  
He was so caught up in his thoughts, that he didn't register the presence of B'Elanna until she put a hand on his shoulder. He looked up, slightly startled. After all the emotion of the past few days, he expected her to still be out like a light, as was the case last night.  
  
"Hey," she said, sitting down next to him. He returned the greeting softly, reaching out and taking B'Elanna's hands in his own and squeezing lightly, a gesture she returned.  
  
"Can't sleep?" she asked.  
  
Tom sighed deeply. "Heavy thoughts."  
  
"Oh, those," she said, a small smile on her face. "Anything in particular?"  
  
Tom cleared his throat. "Just....everything that's happened recently."  
  
B'Elanna nodded, sighing herself this time. "Oh."  
  
After a moment or so of silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts, Tom roused himself. "Hey, you should go back to bed. Get some sleep."  
  
B'Elanna growled slightly. "Is this another one of those Human things? You know, 'you should eat more, after all, you're eating for two.' Am I *sleeping* for two now?"  
  
Tom chuckled lightly. "No. I just thought you were tired."  
  
"And you're not?" she countered.  
  
"Okay," he allowed. There was another moment of silence, until B'Elanna spoke.  
  
"Why are you dressed?" she asked.  
  
Tom looked down at himself, apparently unaware that he had indeed put on his uniform.  
  
"Oh, I was....going to take a walk or something. I have Bridge duty in an hour, and I couldn't sleep. So, I thought I'd go do something, save disturbing you."  
  
He continued to sit there, looking down at their joined hands, a smile on his face.  
  
"What?" B'Elanna asked softly.  
  
"Nothing. Just remembering when the Doc showed us the Holographic baby.......I know it was just a Holographic representation, but......she was beautiful. I guess.......I guess I can't wait for this to be over, so I can see her for real."  
  
B'Elanna laughed. "*You* can't.......I'm going to have to carry her for months. I've heard all the horror stories. The back pain, the swollen ankles...........not to mention the actual labour itself. Plus, the variables caused by the Klingon/Human hybrid genes. I can't wait for the entire thing to be over."  
  
"You big liar. You are going to love every second of it, and you know it. Besides, I thought Klingons didn't shy away from pain."  
  
B'Elanna narrowed her eyes. "One more word on that subject Tom Paris, and we'll see exactly what type of pain Klingons don't shy from.......such as *inflicting* it."  
  
Tom held up a hand. "Okay, okay," he surrended. "Don't get violent, I won't say another word. Not about the pain, or the --"  
  
"Tom, shut up," she cut in, rolling her dark eyes.  
  
"Sorry," he grinned, not sounding contrite in the least. She grinned back despite herself, and Tom's face lit up.  
  
"Ah, I knew it. I knew I could make you smile. Chalk one up for me."  
  
She tried for an angry frown, but couldn't pull it off. "Sometimes, I just want to strangle you."  
  
He smirked, allowing his eyes to roam over to the bed. "Well, since we're both awake.......anything else you want to do to me?"  
  
She sat back slightly, pretending to give the matter thought. "I don't know........there's throwing you out of the nearest air lock.......forcing you to eat the last of Neelix's Leola root, which he thoughtfully left behind when he left for that away mission he's on. I could even have the Captain sign you up for some extra shifts with the Doctor in sickbay."  
  
At Tom's horrified expression, B'Elanna laughed. "Or," she carried on, "there is that big bed over there........you see, it gets awfully cold and lonely when my husband isn't there."  
  
This restored Tom's grin. "Well, we can't have that, can we?"  
  
They both laughed at this, before Tom's expression turned serious once more. "Are you okay?" he asked.  
  
B'Elanna felt pleasently annoyed at his concerned, but over asked question. "Yes, I am okay. I wasn't the one up at this time of night......or rather morning........ with 'heavy thoughts.'"  
  
She looked deeply into his eyes.  
  
"So, are *you* okay?"  
  
He nodded. "I was just thinking about my family. I'll never know what went wrong between my dad and I......it just got me thinking."  
  
B'Elanna stroked her fingers against his. "I know. Ever since we found out about the baby, I've done the same........wondering about my mother, what happened. What went wrong."  
  
"Did you figure anything out?" he asked gently.  
  
It was her turn to nod. "Yeah.....I think.......I think I did. My mother was.......very strict. And in her opinion, always right. No matter what it was about.  
  
Even if she was actually *wrong,* she wouldn't admit it. It wasn't just because of her Klingon pride.........though that was probably responsible for a fair deal of it.  
  
I think that she believed that........if she was right all the time, if she never backed down........then my behaviour wouldn't spin out of control. Like...........don't beat up the Human kids, no matter what they do to you. It doesn't matter if they threw the first punch. No daughter of Miral was going to be involved in petty little fist fights with a bunch of human children.........but, it wasn't just pride. I think she was afraid that I wouldn't just become more Klingon.......but that I'd spin so far out of control, I made Klingon's look Human. That if I had the chance to prove her wrong, just once.......she'd never get me back on track, and I'd be lost to her forever.That I would grow up with no honour."  
  
She looked down at her hands, seeming tiny to Tom's as his held hers tightly. His touch could be a lot of things, she mused. Commanding when he piloted Voyager. With her, gentle, strong, calming, arousing..........and in this instance, comforting.  
  
"She didn't realise.......the more she did that, the more she tried to enforce things, to control me........the more she pushed me away. I let her know......that I blamed her for my father leaving, at least on the surface. But * I* know, deep down.......I blamed myself."  
  
Her voice began to shake slightly, as she allowed long repressed feelings to flood over her.  
  
"I just......I never intended to drive him away, and I'm sure that my mother didn't either. I was scared.......that I would drive you away, too."  
  
Tom sighed deeply, squeezing B'Elanna's hands.  
  
"You didn't drive him away, B'Elanna. He left. And you know what? That was his loss. He missed all the important things in your life. He missed being there for you, helping you, or even having you be there for him.........all the things that I can't wait to have with our little girl. I'm not gonna say that we haven't had our rough patches --"  
  
He was interupted by a snort from B 'Elanna. "You think?" she asked sarcastically.  
  
"You know what I mean," he smiled. "And.....I never really thought it was possible......I've only known about the baby for a few days.......but I already love her so much too. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't apprehensive ---"  
  
B'Elanna's face became shuttered as she mentally completed that sentence, obviously believing he meant bringing a child into the world with *her,* and Tom rushed to elaborate.  
  
"No, B'Elanna, not that. I......my father and I, we had so much trouble, I never really.......*connected*.....with him. I guess...I guess I'm worried what kind of father I'm going to be. After all, I didn't have the best example," he concluded, a strange half smile on his face.  
  
B'Elanna could barely believe what she was hearing.  
  
"Are you kidding? I've seen you with Naomi. Ever since she was small --"  
  
At Tom's amused glance, she amended, "*smaller*......I've seen you two, and how great you get along together. Even Neelix saw it, although it did make him a little jealous for a while," she joked, a smile on her face.  
  
"You know just how to treat her, just what approach to take, what to do to get the right response, how to fix any problems she may have, that she can't go to her mother for -- "  
  
She was stopped by Tom's laugh.  
  
"B'Elanna.........children aren't engines. You don't input data to get a response, or ...... fix problems by simply tweaking a few buttons. You take the time to talk, to listen, to learn. You say you're unsure what you're going to do, but as long as you remember that you're interacting with a little kid, you'll be fine. After all, if there's one thing I know you do well -- or rather three things -- it's take the time talk, listen and learn." He followed up his speech with his most sincere look.  
  
B'Elanna answered his look with an insulted expression. "Oh, so I talk too much, do I?"  
  
Tom's face turned slowly to worry. He knew women could make the strangest leaps in logic, especially pregnant Klingon/Human hybrid women, ones whose dual metabolisms were likely to clash, thus causing some behavioral volitility --  
  
~whoa, was I channeling the Doc?~ Tom joked to himself.  
  
His thoughts quickly turning serious once more, Tom decided that he'd best talk himself out of this one. When in doubt......babble.  
  
"I didn't say that. I said you talk. Which you do. I'm pretty sure everyone does. Well, maybe not --"  
  
"Tom," B'Elanna interupted. "Shut up."  
  
Now *that* he could do.  
  
"Yes Ma'am," he smiled. She leaned forward, catching his gaze with hers.  
  
"Tom..........I think you're going to be a great father. And......I'm going to enjoy *trying* to be a great mother." She frowned at herself. "I hope that came out making some sense."  
  
Tom laughed again. "It came out making perfect sense." He took one of his hands, still  
  
firmly clasping one of hers, and moved them down until they were resting lightly on her abdomen.  
  
"We are going to be *great* parents B'Elanna. Together."  
  
She returned his grin with one of hers, then gasped slightly as the baby made her presence known by kicking. She wondered vaguely if she would *ever* get used to that.  
  
"Oh my God," Tom breathed. "She -- the baby -- should that happen so soon?"  
  
B'Elanna's smile grew wider, as she thought back to when she had asked the Doctor virtually the same thing.  
  
"Well, she *is* one quarter Klingon." And Tom thought he detected a touch of pride in her voice as she made that statement.  
  
"She certainly is," Tom agreed, leaning forward to kiss his wife. After a moment, B'Elanna pulled back far enough to look into his eyes.  
  
"About.....what you were saying before.....that all it takes is to be able to take the time talk, listen and learn.....that kind of applies to our relationship too. Wouldn't you agree?"  
  
Unsure of where this was going, Tom chose silence, instead nodding his head in the affirmative.  
  
"Well, you said I can talk.....and I know I can listen. But about the last one........right now, we have an hour 'til you're due on duty.......and there's one thing I *really* want to take the time to learn."  
  
She leaned toward him, licking her lips slightly and watching comprehension dawn in his blue eyes.  
  
"And what would that be?" he asked, deciding to play along and matching her seductive tone.  
  
"Just how fast *can* you get out of that uniform?"  
  
And he set about showing her. 


End file.
